02 | [Written]

[dealsinshipping]

[Christmas has come and gone, leaving Varrick a little disappointed. Sure, the late present he got from Santa was… nice... but it wasn’t at all what he was hoping for. Maybe the mistletoe tally was to blame. Maybe if he’d scored a few more points, he would’ve gotten the thing he’d put at the top of his list to Santa.

So as he sat on the wooden seat of his new canoe (which was actually his old canoe; he’d recognize those scratches anywhere) he made a personal note not to rely on Santa anymore. Of course, without Zhu Li around to put that note on paper, he’d forgotten about it within minutes and it took him a two additional days to remember what it was that he’d wanted to do.

Finally, on the 4th of January, he flips open his journal and starts writing in a loopy, cursive manner.]

Wanted: Personal assistant.

Requirements: Must be by my side at all times. Must know how to write and read. Must not question my authority. Must be able to follow commands at a second’s notice. Must have a good sense of fashion. Must be able to make tea. Must be able to move a canoe from a second floor apartment to the river. Massage skills preferable but not mandatory. Good singing voice preferable but not mandatory.

Payment for services will be delivered in the form of

[For the longest moment, Varrick has to think about how to continue that sentence. In fact, he spends so long pondering about it that he starts to absentmindedly scribble on the paper. Then, finally, he jots down:]

I’ll think of something later. Open to suggestions.


Sincerely,
Varrick

Comments

written

[relictusdeus]

[And Isaac just can't resist penning a perfectly unhelpful response just dripping with playful condescension. Idleness makes a crueler man of him.]

And does Your Lordship wish his food to be chewed for him as well?

[written]

[swordprincess]

[This is one of the rare instances where Karla makes a perfect lineface. Being by his side, not questioning his authority and always following commands at a second's notice is asking an awful lot. Especially when not knowing what sorts of commands they're supposed to follow.]

What exactly does a "personal assistant" do?

[voice]

[tokennonbender]

...You're not going to have much luck with that list of demands.

[musubi]

... Oh man.

Can I just sit and watch your responses for a while? I could use a good dose of amusement right now.

[voice]

[silversnowfall]

While you may be accustomed to luxuries like that in your home, it is unlikely you will find exactly what you're looking for here.

voice

[theboywiththebook]

[Wow, he's Eleven and he feels more capable at taking care of himself than this guy.]

I don't think anyone would want to do that stuff.

[Because ew. Who wants to clip your toenails?]

[written]

[tickle_me]

[In legible but not particularly neat cursive:]

it sounds more like your looking for a stepford wife with a shitty ad like that

[Not fuckin' impressed with yo' shit, Varrick.

...also don't judge Revy's writing skills too hard. She dropped out of school around junior high.]

I really need my WTF icon back for this, lol

[universal_charm]

Wow... Those aren't oddly specific or vague at the same time, not at all.

_{[ What kind of thing did this guy do that he needed an assistant that could get a canoe from a second floor apartment to the rive? ]}

[voice]

[strangelyliteral]

Are you kidding me?

video

[wannabolt]

You know, you could always learn how to do all those things yourself.

[Dash grins, giving a playful roll of her eyes.]

Most people here aren't big on the whole service thing, especially when there's no money. Kinda defeats the point, don't you think?

[Voice]

[niceguypose]

I would be glad to serve you!

[Voice]

[savedtheworld]

Soo... Varrick. You've been settling in well? [Sounds like you could use some help there, bro.]