Varrick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dealsinshipping) wrote2014-01-04 08:45 pm
dealsinshipping) wrote2014-01-04 08:45 pm
02 | [Written]
[Christmas has come and gone, leaving Varrick a little disappointed. Sure, the late present he got from Santa was… nice... but it wasn’t at all what he was hoping for. Maybe the mistletoe tally was to blame. Maybe if he’d scored a few more points, he would’ve gotten the thing he’d put at the top of his list to Santa.
So as he sat on the wooden seat of his new canoe (which was actually his old canoe; he’d recognize those scratches anywhere) he made a personal note not to rely on Santa anymore. Of course, without Zhu Li around to put that note on paper, he’d forgotten about it within minutes and it took him a two additional days to remember what it was that he’d wanted to do.
Finally, on the 4th of January, he flips open his journal and starts writing in a loopy, cursive manner.]
Wanted: Personal assistant.
Requirements: Must be by my side at all times. Must know how to write and read. Must not question my authority. Must be able to follow commands at a second’s notice. Must have a good sense of fashion. Must be able to make tea. Must be able to move a canoe from a second floor apartment to the river. Massage skills preferable but not mandatory. Good singing voice preferable but not mandatory.
Payment for services will be delivered in the form of
[For the longest moment, Varrick has to think about how to continue that sentence. In fact, he spends so long pondering about it that he starts to absentmindedly scribble on the paper. Then, finally, he jots down:]
I’ll think of something later. Open to suggestions.
Sincerely,
Varrick
So as he sat on the wooden seat of his new canoe (which was actually his old canoe; he’d recognize those scratches anywhere) he made a personal note not to rely on Santa anymore. Of course, without Zhu Li around to put that note on paper, he’d forgotten about it within minutes and it took him a two additional days to remember what it was that he’d wanted to do.
Finally, on the 4th of January, he flips open his journal and starts writing in a loopy, cursive manner.]
Wanted: Personal assistant.
Requirements: Must be by my side at all times. Must know how to write and read. Must not question my authority. Must be able to follow commands at a second’s notice. Must have a good sense of fashion. Must be able to make tea. Must be able to move a canoe from a second floor apartment to the river. Massage skills preferable but not mandatory. Good singing voice preferable but not mandatory.
Payment for services will be delivered in the form of
[For the longest moment, Varrick has to think about how to continue that sentence. In fact, he spends so long pondering about it that he starts to absentmindedly scribble on the paper. Then, finally, he jots down:]
I’ll think of something later. Open to suggestions.
Sincerely,
Varrick
written
And does Your Lordship wish his food to be chewed for him as well?
written
No, but the offer was nice. That shows initiative. You've got the potential to be a great assistant.
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I can be a great many things.
[And a terrible pain in the ass is only one of them.]
written
Oh really? Have you got a resume?
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[Which brings him to question what a resume actually is. But how important could it possibly be if he has never heard of it?]
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But that's what the resume is for. To list all those great things you've achieved so I can tell you if they're important or not.
written
My dear man -- [Because 'Varrick', he's fairly confident, is a man's name] I'm afraid my list is nearly without end. When one has ravaged as many settlements and taken as many heads as I over the years, one tends to lose count of it all.
written
Right. Those sound like impressive achievements. However, none of them have to do with the job you're applying for. You may want to join the Malnosso's army instead.
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I fight under no one's command.
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You may want to cut down on the settlement ravaging while you're here. There's only one settlement around and we're all living in it.
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Alas, the Malnosso have largely denied me that avenue of pleasure. They are not very keen on allowing others to share in their amusement when they wreak havoc upon the village, you understand.
[Perhaps he's only joking. It's not a very good joke, in any case.]
written
Yeah. That must be it. The nerve of those guys, right?
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[He's just pulling Varrick's leg. Maybe.]
Engaging in battles bereft of risk and consequence can only satisfy one for so long. ...But enough talk of death and destruction, hm? Won't you tell me about yourself? I should like to know something more of the man I might think to massage and stand watch over while he sleeps.
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You know what? I just realized. I don't need a personal assistant after all! Crazy, right? But thanks for showing an interest.
written
Well, then I am so very happy for you having chosen independence over a crippling reliance on the services of another.
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Nice talking to you!
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